INTRODUCTION

This video is full of irony; usually yoga practitioners are trying to achieve inner calm but this instructor is upset about a few things. This video comes from the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Organization), which has Canada’s  news and radio programming in English and French (Radio-Canada).

Note: I do not own the rights for this video.

TRANSCRIPT

[1] Okay, good, now hinge at the hips but don’t flip the tailbone
And feel that stretch, right from the heels to the tips of the fingers
And discover the present moment, come into dog stretch
And don’t think about this town
If I see one more man with a bun, not a ponytail – a bun, with an honest-to-God scrunchie, and those Birkenstocks, like some kind of homeless samurai
And he’s the one turning me down!
Come on up
To hell with him!

[2] And reach up, reach up into the sky like you’re at the airport, getting a pat down because they discovered 150mL of apple butter in your bag
And they think you’re going to blow up the plane like some kind of apple butter vegan terrorist
And just let that go

And come on up into tree pose, if you can remember a tree standing up, and not burnt to the ground or clear cut

And gather your energy like those 35,000 walrus who gathered together on that beach in Alaska, because the ice is melting, and the Earth is dying!
and release…
and just feel the weight of the world on your back, and it’s crushing you but stay in the present because there is no future
because the government sold it to the highest bidder

[3] (just breathe)
Your life means nothing!
And your children’s lives are worth nothing
And the only thing that matters is the almighty dollar
And just feel the head, drop your head down
That’s right
Just, just bang your head a little bit, you know, sure, you’re just a tiny little bit angry

Sometimes yoga doesn’t cut it. Ask your doctor is marijuana is right for you.
–A message from Canada’s medicinal pot growers